82

"a puppy is fine for christmas, but what then for sandwiches the next day?"
-craig ferguson

81

'you wouldnt need all that bait if your belly were full of fish'
-pushing daisies

80

ive been cow tipping before. its easy, you just walk up to them, slip them a couple singles, 'there ya go, buddy'...

-craig ferguson

79

'hello?'
-craig ferguson